The jar of fractured minds and myself in it

I already explained my point of view of gender issues through my own egalitarianism which emphasizes the idea of tolerance and comprehension which is sex-unrelated. In other words, there’s no purpose of “you being you” if you’re ignorant enough.

As a pole dancer I perceived the whole new dimension of mind and opened thinking. It is true that people see what they want to see. If there in front of you is a typically covered female  dancer who does stunning and demanding exercise on a pole, what is the first thing you think; how do you see her and what exactly do you see?

This question helped me to get the people and filter my social surrounding. The same pattern could be used concerning tattoos, for example. And of course, free person will never judge other one’s expression. I appreciated a lot when a male would approach me and tell me: “Wow, it must be hard, you must be very strong and enduring.” That’s the person who sees me as an athlete who works hard on it’s strength and elegance and understands the effort which is being put in it in order to lift up my whole body and not just that but also understands your expression of inner self. He sees me as someone who cherishes outer image equal as inner.

In the return I regard them as those who see the talent and persistence before attractive body, which, as a matter of fact, is not the goal, but the bonus…

On the other hand, from time to time I hear rude comments made by typical orthodox Kosovo liberators who see me as an immoral male attention drawer and who knows what else.

The “I-m-a-pole-dancer-test” never failed me. If you want to know them, ask them perceptual questions.

Patriarchy never died. It is changing it’s shape constantly as it’s being misused by many. It causes degradation of both man and women. It is a false idea of a man being supreme and woman being underestimated. In conditions like these, male is taught not to appreciate woman’s needs and personality and at the same time to depend on actions she’s doing in his favour and for him instead doing it by himself. And a women convincing that it is right to listen to instructions how to behave, feel and think in order to be accepted and “treated”. The result is a dysfunctional (grown up) man who doesn’t know how to take care of himself but only to expect of others to do it for him, and socially and emotionally challenged woman with imposed rules taken as something usual, expected and right. Those people will never find themselves and they’ll continue the tradition they’ve been taught is right carrying it over to the next generation of narrow-minded.

It is funny how, patriarchy in the same way as feminism emphasizes superiority of one sex over another. Like it is some kind of self defense mechanism (from what?). By pointing out differences in order to prove them as only truth there is they don’t get that it is one thing they have in common and by itself it makes them – equal.

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Juggling hypocrisy

Lately all of us are being bombed with different kinds of propaganda, racism judgments, political rights, women rights, human rights, national identity and somehow people think that they’re defending the right side just because they’re proclaiming certain life standard and so called “moral”.

What made me think of this is an argument I had lately with a group of middle aged women, by my personal estimation old maids, who probably spend their days feeding pigeons, cursing men and comforting themselves that they are probably too good to be true, so that’s why they’re still single and no man can handle them. And many more hidden under term of “women’s rights” and “feminism”.

The comment made by myself which eventually enraged them was about my own idea of sexuality and genders. Of course we were talking about women in army.

In my opinion there are and there always will be crucial differences between men and women which build us in certain ways. Those are not insults. It is just the way we are. What is wrong with male-only professions? Or women-only? Is it humiliating? Is it offending someone?

Speaking of these differences I always like to point up the first and basic thing that was given to us when we were born and that is gender. It is the reason why I am Mary and why Peter is Peter.

When we were grumpy newborns, placed in rows in maternity hospital we were indeed all the same. Bald, ruddy, wrinkled, crying and had no idea at all who we were and what were we doing.

Later on, we got our first teeth, we straightened  up and step by step we walked! By some serious statistics, girls do it earlier than boys. Of course, that means nothing. As we grow we keep playing and fighting. Sometimes girls win. Sometimes they don’t. But anyway, violence is not allowed. We grow, we grow, we grow. At some point, our whole body is full of hormones. We’re changing. We still grow. Girls start getting feminine body shape, tiny waists with wider ties, some describe it as hourglass-shape. On the other hand, boys get taller, their baby-beard is appearing, their jaws are getting bigger and their shoulders wider. They tend to be musculous and tall. Of course, these are not standards. My point is – estrogen does it’s parts of the job to feminine body, same as testosterone does to male’s. Simplified.

I noticed that stress differently affects women and men. In the same stressful situations they react in different ways. While I took part in taekwondo competitions often I saw girls bursting in tears at some point of a fight.  Also, boys never showed that kind of emotion during the same type of activity. They are sometimes bit aggressive and typicaliy revolted. My friend Katherine, who used to take part in those competitions even longer than I have first came up to me with this idea and made me think of it. She told me: “Girls just can’t handle it emotionally”. Can we actually? Yes, there are great feminine athletes and yes, every one is born to make a personal success. But the thing I am trying to bring up to this story is constant sex humiliation and degradation covered by “women’s rights”. Talking about that argument from the beginning, I just mentioned that some professions are better handled by men, and some other by women. And that’s how it is. It doesn’t offend women or men.

War has always been done by men. And so far, they’ve done it very well. Their testosterone provided them huge arms, shoulders and mindset which combined with a bit of practice equals  one fine warrior. On the other hand estrogen makes women’s body fatter especially when emphasising it’s shape which some relate to fertility and also during some typical days of the month when it is bringing out their intensive emotions, which would weaken them in a position of a fighter.

Just because most of women aren’t good warriors and have no interest in war doesn’t make them bad or less worthy. Also some women who actually take part in war actions are not better men than we already have. They are not men at all. And they shouldn’t feel that way. I don’t say that the army is not for women, but I think that men would do it better.

And the thing that I hate the most is when certain women keep degrading all the men under excuse of equality.

There are women who desperately need help, who are molested by their husbands, male co-workers, neighbors etc. And they should be protected. But what I hate is when others who suffer inner problems  use other one’s real misery as their own frustration therapy and mask for their own idiotic attitudes.

If a woman thinks that she’s better than some men, or even worse that all the men are ignorant, clumsy and useless she should keep it to herself and achieve whatever she has to achieve. Also, I feel the same disgust when a man disrespects a woman in the similar way.

There never will be gender equivalence and there never should. What should be there is tolerance. Love me and respect me as a woman and I’ll love you and respect you as a man. The true beauty is in diversity. What an ugly world would it be if we were all the same, with the same bodies, faces, minds.