Marigold, I hate you

I hate doing this job. I hate the place where I have to spend most of my time. I hate my current superior. I hate.

Since the doctor in whose shift I were volunteering went on a month long vacation I’m forced to spend my shift with Marigold. She’s only couple of years older than I am.

But years aren’t the problem. Years are years. You grow up. You get smarter, wiser. You’re once young and stupid. You learned not to be. Or you didn’t. But it’s your choice.

I hate your subjectivity, Mari. You’re an idiot. You’re not the God. You help people by sticking to clear, substantiated rules, that’s what you do. You don’t choose who to help. You help equally. You’re neutral. You’re white. That’s one of the symbolic purposes of your appearance. You’re above all. You do good. Objective good. Good for all; not God for all.

The first time I saw how ignorant, frustrated, bad and pathetic you were was that time when you didn’t want to write the report for a highschool student who came to your shift right from school because she had a tootache. You fixed her tooth, she was half an hour in your dental office and you didn’t want to write her that report, a document first of all, which proves that she was at your place at the exact time and not somewhere else during lessons, because she was in pain. But you didn’t because your tiny mind can’t acknowledge that it is not about grades, but about taking care of a juvenile individual, who’s not at home and not at school – so where is she? And what disguises me the most is that theatrical way of your abuse of professional position and how you enjoy doing it while regarding those patients as if they’re guilty and not in pain with an inappropriate explanation that you’re not obligated to prove anything for anyone – “why is she coming to me during lessons?”, is your question.

But you see, Mari, it’s not your problem. Your problem is someone’s pain, someone’s swelling, someone’s injury.

And you claim that you do good.

On the other hand Mari, you willingly referred a patient to a specialist under fake diagnosis of a disease he didn’t suffer of at all, just in order for him to pass the health commission and cure the disease he actually suffers for free. After I warned you what you did, you justified yourself as “doing a good thing and helping him”. I don’t want to mention that he’s actually very wealthy and known for it. But, it is not what we should issue. The real issue is – why is he different than that young girl? They are different indeed, but you don’t choose who to help and surely not break the law because of some subjectivity and bright self promotion. And not to say, lack of professionalism.

Beside not stepping on my side during that unclear pain treatment when you took out the tooth I was treating, there’s one ultimately disgusting thing that you did two days ago – you rudely rejected to help a patient who was late for her treatment because of transportation problems, since she’s living in the outskirts and has no car so she could come on time that day. Her bus was late, you were free at the moment, there was one hour still until the end of the shift and you didn’t want to help her. She was in pain, she came with her mother. She’s also a teenager. But you’re an idiot, Mari. You don’t know it, you never will, but you’re an idiot. By what you did, you broke the law. There’re three explicit cases and many referred to criminal acting in medicine. Unwilling to provide medical assistance is one of it Mari and you did it and if I’d told you so, you’d say that I’m exaggerating while rolling your eyes over me as if I’m maundering. We all studied it, but once again – you’re an idiot. You’re an idiot, Mari. You’re such an idiot.

Her mother was angry and insisted us to treat her because even when they’ll be coming back, they’ll have troubles with transportation and buses that are not leaving so often during summertime, and what’s even more important is that the girl’s in pain. Mari ordered me to take the patient and just left outside to smoke. I took the patient and did it in five minutes. I’ve put a medicine in her tooth and scheduled her for the next treatment. It was ended way before the shift.

I felt sad and ashamed of what I have witnessed. It’s not the way which it should be done. It’s not right. Doctor is above it all. He doesn’t choose, he helps if he can.

Calendula officinalis, or in English – Marigold, is broadly used as a traditional medicine by many peoples from ancient times until now on.  It is proved that it reduces inflammation and spasms. It is used for treating skin diseases, eye diseases and digestive problems. It is one helpful plant with curative attributes.

But I hate you Marigold, you make me feel at least uncomfortable while I have to listen to your molesting of others. You did noting to me, but I hate you, I hate you so much that I can’t wait to finish this all and never to see you again. You’re a shame to us, shame to our community, shame to our profession. You’re degrading us consciously, same as many other out there, but I’ve never been so close to someone like you nor someone like you were my supervisor, I hate you so much that I can’t even tell you that, because if I’d do you’d probably think that I’m jealous of you, but you can’t even imagine the number of ways I’d use to avoid becoming you. You’re a disgrace. I can’t even tell you how much I hate you, you wouldn’t get it. You just wouldn’t get it. You’re an idiot, Mari. I hate you.

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